Moving forward, looking back

on a ferry leaving Seattle…

This weekend, work unexpectedly brought me back to Seattle, the city where I spent my college years - learning, growing, changing. There’s something special about coming back to place where so much life was lived.

It feels familiar and distant all at once. As I stood on the ferry drifting away from my former home, now covered in smoke, I couldn’t help but think about my time spent there. So many pictures hidden deep in memory found their way back to me.

The one conclusion I come to, over and over again, is that God is faithful.

He was then, and I have to trust, He still is now. 

I think of the years I spent in this place, wishing…stressing, wondering if things would ever work out for me. If I would ever, could ever, be something...be someone. Make something of myself. I spent much of my time in this city confused, not knowing how things would play out or if my dreams even mattered, let alone could actually happen. Yet, here I am, a work in progress, but in many ways, living proof that yes, indeed, things do come together in time.

If I knew then what I know now...

I’d tell myself to slow down. To capture every breathtaking beautiful moment.

To soak it all in. To trust that God was working everything out behind the scenes, and all of the messy pieces of the puzzle would come together in time. I would tell myself that God can do more in a second than I could in a lifetime, so I should stop striving, stop stressing.

I would tell myself not to worry about the future, or what I was going to do after college, but to focus more on the kind of person I wanted to become. I would tell myself to be fearless in chasing my passions, and not to doubt myself. I would tell myself that missed opportunities are not the end, and stories beyond my wildest imagination are ahead of me.

And I would tell myself all of this, over again, years later, as I am here right now.

The lessons I learned are not to be left in the beautiful city of Seattle but carried with me into every new place and adventure I find myself in. I can trust who I know, the same God who showed up before will do so again. When the future seems daunting, scary, and unknown, I don’t have to live in anxious fear. I can relax, if I can only trust. So maybe I just needed a little reminder...moving ahead, looking behind.